Mother’s Day Weekend

On the first night of Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

The chance to go out and watch Iron Man three!

On the second morning of Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

Two twins fighting and the chance to go out and watch Iron Man 3.

On the second afternoon of Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

Three older children screaming, two twins fighting and the chance to go out and watch Iron Man 3.

On the second evening of Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

One gone out with friends husband, three older children screaming, two twins fighting and a chance to go out and watch Iron Man 3.

On the Sunday of Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

Pancakes doused in syrup, one gone out with friends husband, three older children screaming, two twins fighting and a chance to go out and watch Iron Man 3.

On the Sunday evening of Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

A fridge depleted of groceries, a poop filled litter box, fifty loads of laundry, innumerable dirty dishes, crayon decorated walls, Cheerios covered carpets, one seriously in trouble husband, five brawling children and I don’t even remember seeing the damned movie.

On the Monday after Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

An empty house full of serenity.

This is what I got Sunday morning.

And two hand-made one of a kind bracelets made from fuzzy pipe cleaners and beads obtained from Dollarama.

This is some of what I dealt with when everyone was finally out of the house.

There were twice as many dishes in the sink and on the counter, and some were extracted from underneath beds and desks.

What were you treated to on Mother’s day?

All pics courtesy of moi.

Lumpy Space Princess

I don’t know why I never watched this cartoon, but my Cauliflower introduced it to me this weekend. I wanted to write a post on Mother’s Day but I found this and have to share it. I couldn’t stop laughing. It’s so lumping funny!

Spring Cleaning

I need to stay away from the internet if I want to finish writing my book. I’m on chapter 8, and I also wrote the last chapter and some stuff in the middle. That is also how I read novels. I often read the middle and end first just because.

So I am trying hard to resist the temptation of Facebook and reading blogs. It’s very difficult. I tried to  read some stuff on writing and I wanted to bang my head against the wall when I read this: Revision and self-editing.   I hope it helps any of you who are in editing stages. I clicked on the links which although maybe very useful I found to be well, very difficult to follow. Since I am not at the editing stage I hope to forget all about it for now.

Unfortunately I can’t sit and write all day because apparently family members need to be fed and the house can’t clean itself. There are lots of things for kids to throw garbage in when they are tidying up. Don’t forget to check all your vases when doing the spring cleaning.

I like vases. All shapes. All sizes. All colors.

I do not like what I find in them.

The start of a Guinness record holding rubber band ball. I am not adding the picture of some ‘organic’ material I found. It was either a dead animal or the remains of a school lunch sandwich from before last year’s summer vacation.

This is how I know one of my twins got hold of my camera.

There are other things besides spring cleaning that keep me from writing that NYT best-seller.

This is one of them.

What distracts you from doing that great thing you were born to do?

(All pics courtesy of my camera and my willing feline model)

March break is over. Yay.

March break is finally over.  As soon as all the kids went to school yesterday I did the happy dance with my cat.

During March break, the kids were everywhere.

They were coming out of my ears.

They were messing up their bedroom.

They were messing up the kitchen.

They messed around at Bradley House Museum. And learned how to make maple syrup.

They messed around at the zoo.

They messed around at the museum.

  

They even messed around with the cat.

 

This is what I felt like while they were in the house:

And this is what I feel like now:

 

So I can go back to this:

 

What did you do in March break?

(All pics by me. Except the lady dancing with her cat. That is Google.)

Tag, You’re It!

I was tagged by thelostkerryman for “Tagging Thyme“, thanks. You have to answer 11 weird questions then tag 11 people who would be willing to answer weird questions. I am grateful for weird people.

1. What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten in public?

Nothing terribly exotic here. I don’t eat gross stuff like escargot,  chocolate covered grasshoppers or fried snakes. And I never will. I did eat paan,ONCE,  when I was in Pakistan. That is betel leaf with yucky stuff like slaked lime (yes), tobacco and betel nut (which will break your teeth) wrapped in it. It is bitter, causes cancer and tastes like crap. Every South Asian has a thing for it. I spat it out right there in the street while being stared at by amused onlookers. I was not amused.

2. If you had to go on an adventure, with elves, dwarves, or hobbits, who would you take and why?

Well what do you think eh? Orlando Bloom, John Rhys- Davies or Elijah Wood? The elf, duh! I think the ‘why’ is self-explanatory.

3. You are at a rural retreat lodge somewhere deep in Wisconsin or Canada. You are approached by a taxidermist who hands you a stuffed badger and asks you to put it in your lap. What do you do next?

I like animals alive running around the forest with the elves.  I will probably beat the taxidermist then stuff him.

4. If you were given biscotti, would you prefer it with coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?

What the hell are those? I will have to go buy a pack, try them and get back to you. Don’t look at me like that! I have five kids, all I know about is chocolate chip cookies and Tim Horton‘s. But I like strong tea and French Vanilla Supreme.

5. In your opinion, who is the funniest man or woman alive today (comedian)

ELLEN! I love you Ellen. And you already know I love Bill Cosby. And some guy named Sugar Sammy because 1. he’s Canadian 2. he’s Indian and 3. he’s funny.

6. If you were given thirty seconds on television to say something, what would it be?

“Eh, nice weather eh?”

7. What is your idea of the most romantic date setting ever?

I’m married to a South Asian. What the hell is romance?

8. If you could go on one date with a movie or television star, who would it be and why?

Don’t know. Ok I just don’t wanna tell you! He won’t be South Asian that’s for sure!

9. What is the worst song you have ever heard?

I don’t know about the worst song ever…actually there was one by Paul Lekakis, must be the worst ever. Whenever I hear ‘Locked out of Heaven’ by Bruno Mars I change the radio station. It really bugs me, don’t know why.

10. If you could live anywhere else, where would it be?

It would still be Canada. But I would love to be able to travel to places like Malaysia.

11. Who- in your opinion- was the greatest person to ever live?

That would have to be more than one. The Prophets, all of them. They are the best, no one can compare to their personalities.  Now I am tagging :

1. http://www.darlenefoster.ca/

2. http://mikeallegra.com/

3. http://theurgetowander.com/

4. http://snapflycook.wordpress.com/

5. http://addictivestory.wordpress.com/

6. http://catherinemjohnson.wordpress.com/ 

7. http://imdbwords.wordpress.com/

8. http://erinbradypike.com/

9. http://remediesforhealth.wordpress.com/

10. http://iamawriterdangit.wordpress.com/

11. http://seyisandradavid.org/

There were a lot of other people but I could only pick 11. I know some of you write serious blogs, but it is good to have fun once in a while!

(Pic from Google ’cause I couldn’t find the pencil sharpener eh. The other one is mine.)

Funny People

I am grateful for funny people. And I especially love Bill Cosby.

What to do on a Snow Day

I am sick today. And I sit here with a box of tissues, a bottle of hydrasense and a clove of burning garlic shoved in my aching ear. I am too sick to do anything but have random thoughts and watch boring shows on TV. Daytime television is bleh. There is more snow coming. “When the snows fall and the white winds blow…” the bus ain’t coming cause school is closed.

For Moms:

1. Make a huge amount of hot chocolate. Pour in a bottle of Benadryl. Give them as much as they like, they’ll all be out before you know it.

2. Send them outside and offer a ‘ten’ for every igloo they make. They’ll stay out of your hair the whole day. Then give them a dime for every igloo. What?

3. Send them over to Grandma’s. That is what parents are for. (Be sure to move to Florida after they get married and have their own kids.)

For Kids:

1. Make your own hot chocolate.

2. Offer to make breakfast and let Mom go back to sleep.

3. Clean the house while Mom sleeps.

4. Take care of younger brothers and sisters while Mom sleeps.

5. Make chicken sandwiches for lunch, feed everyone, then clean up the kitchen while Mom sleeps.

6. Make Mom the best cup of coffee/tea ever and serve it to her on a tray with a flower in bed.

7. If you can’t manage all the above, take all your brothers and sisters and go over to Grandma’s. Stay there.

Any more ideas for the next snow day?

(All pics courtesy of moi taken on Feb 8)

Ode to husbands

 

Oh dear husband so loyal and true,
How do you manage to make me so blue?
Could it be all those rolled up, smelly socks
That is putting this extra gray in my locks?
Why do you so kindly offer to cook?
Then be cruel and not let me read my book?
I hand you every ingredient, chop everything up,
Then have to wash every pot, plate and cup.
You have to look after the kids too you know,
It’s not like I brought them in my trousseau.
Just how they drive me nuts, you have not an inkling,
As you sit in front of the computer screen blinking.
I think it is time you cleaned up your act,
Time to grow up as a matter of fact!
Your dirty laundry lying behind the bathroom door,
I ain’t gonna pick that up no more!
While I lug the groceries you let the door slam in my face,
I think I can arrange for your neck to be in a brace.
So become a gentleman or watch your back,
Before you find yourself tied to the train tracks.

(sketch courtesy of me-because every picture I googled was copyrighted :0)

Michelle Obama : is a cool name

Michelle Obama looks good in blue. She looks good in anything she wears. You must have guessed that this post is about parents who doom their kids with weird names right? I love the name Michelle, but imagine if her mom had a strange sense of humor and named her something like Vanille or Sesame? I don’t even want to imagine the horrors of going through life with a name that is edible, however it seems that in 2012 someone in this world sentenced a poor innocent little girl to just that. If they wanted exotic names why couldn’t they have been inspired by the first lady and gone with Sasha(Natasha) or Malia? They are exotic and classy. And they have good meanings. Meanings are important. You don’t want to name your kid after stuff you put in a cake or sprinkle on a bun. Unless you are a chef, then you might.

There are creative parents like Bob Geldof, he named his daughters Peaches, Pixie and Fifi Trixibelle. I don’t know how they take that kind of fatherly genius.

Then there are parents who have absolutely no imagination and just square their last name for their little bundle of joy. Phillip Phillips, no offence, I like him too. I bet he had fun in school though.

Then some people who have perfectly normal names get bored and either date people with the same name or marry people with the same name. Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner. Paris Hilton and Paris Latsis. Yeah I know old news, but still. My husband has a friend named Talath he married a woman named Talath. She is known as Mrs. Talath Talath.

Some parents choose names they think sound cool, without knowing what the word means. Why else would people want to name their little boy a male duck? Drake. Seriously?

When I was in school, no one ever pronounced my name right, and I swore I would name my kids really nice names. I had to wait till the fourth time. My first three kids were named by my husband and his mom. Then I had twins. And I took a long time to choose their names, so long that they were called Twin 1 and Twin 2 for many days after they were born. Then I found two Arabic names that were short, easy to spell and pronounce, and had beautiful meanings. I was overjoyed, I had picked the perfect names. Mehdia (Twin 2) is pronounced just the way it is spelled and means ‘one who follows the right path’. In my excitement I messed up Twin 1′s name. Manha,’ Gift of God’. Simple enough when we lived in Pakistan. When we moved back to Canada, people pronounce it MAN HA rather than Munha. It was with great horror that I realized I have named my daughter after what seems like a character from “He-Man”. Remember He Man, Tee La, She Ra? Man Ha….I am sorry that you will spend the rest of your life explaining you are not Man Ha but Munha, Munha and it rhymes with run-ha. I guess you will carry on my legacy…no it is not ‘Kala’ nor is it ‘Kahula’ no not  ’Khoola’ it is Khaula rhymes with Paula….. ‘Call A’……Omg I am named like a He Man character too.

(Images from Google Images and Style Frizz)

Golden Globes 2013, thanks for enlightening me.

You know that Bruno Mars song about not wanting to do anything? What’s it called…just a sec I’ll google it. The Lazy Song! Well that is how I have felt. For the past two months, and so I did not write anything, did not blog anything, changed my clothes as least as possible and washed my hair even less. Refused to clean the house, unfortunately I had to feed the cat. And the kids. Or I may never have left the cozy spot on the sofa, which has now become a huge, unbecoming crater. It is so bad I think we may have to get  a new sofa. Writer’s block for me is not wanting to detach my eyes from the TV. Please don’t ask me what I watched, it is embarrassing. Alright dammit! Vampire Diaries. Now I need to drown myself in a handful of water.

My teen will never let me forget this. She reminds me all the time that watching episode after episode on Netflix of something that immature is a sure sign that I have no life. I mean no offence to fans of the show, if you are a teen who watches it that is ok. I have been out of that age group for decades. But for those of you who thought Twilight was cheesy, well this is the grandaddy of cheesy vampire love stories.

So I am over my couch potatoness.

I started writing stuff today, before that I cleaned the house and when I received a warning letter from the Peel Health department I realized it was time to wash my hair. The baby powder I was sprinkling in it was no longer effective.

I also plan on watching some more worthwhile stuff. The Golden Globe Awards have given me enlightenment otherwise my knowledge was temporarily limited to vervain, wolfsbane and hybrid werewolves.

I read Life of Pi some years ago, and I always like watching movies based on novels I have read. I am a fan of Ben Affleck so I have to see Argo, and I have to see Les Miserables just because it has to be seen. Oh and I also found out that Jodie Foster ‘has come out’. I am sure that bit of information will affect the lives of millions.

(All pics from Google Images)