Mother’s Day Weekend

On the first night of Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

The chance to go out and watch Iron Man three!

On the second morning of Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

Two twins fighting and the chance to go out and watch Iron Man 3.

On the second afternoon of Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

Three older children screaming, two twins fighting and the chance to go out and watch Iron Man 3.

On the second evening of Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

One gone out with friends husband, three older children screaming, two twins fighting and a chance to go out and watch Iron Man 3.

On the Sunday of Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

Pancakes doused in syrup, one gone out with friends husband, three older children screaming, two twins fighting and a chance to go out and watch Iron Man 3.

On the Sunday evening of Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

A fridge depleted of groceries, a poop filled litter box, fifty loads of laundry, innumerable dirty dishes, crayon decorated walls, Cheerios covered carpets, one seriously in trouble husband, five brawling children and I don’t even remember seeing the damned movie.

On the Monday after Mother’s day weekend my family gave to me,

An empty house full of serenity.

This is what I got Sunday morning.

And two hand-made one of a kind bracelets made from fuzzy pipe cleaners and beads obtained from Dollarama.

This is some of what I dealt with when everyone was finally out of the house.

There were twice as many dishes in the sink and on the counter, and some were extracted from underneath beds and desks.

What were you treated to on Mother’s day?

All pics courtesy of moi.

Lumpy Space Princess

I don’t know why I never watched this cartoon, but my Cauliflower introduced it to me this weekend. I wanted to write a post on Mother’s Day but I found this and have to share it. I couldn’t stop laughing. It’s so lumping funny!

Happy Mother’s Day in Advance

 Hey I wrote some mom stuff when I visited Ironic Mom. Go visit, she is so funny. She has a book out this month!

Read this stuff  and have a good day!

 

Monday Funnies

Reblogged from Writerlious:

I got nothing this week folks, except for this new K-Mart Commercial, which I am waaaay too in love with.  ;)

I watched this five times and laughed till I cried. Thank you Writerlious for making my day:)

Writing Tips

(More great writing  tips here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/writing-advice-from-famous-authors)

Miriam Makeba

Today on Google I found this :

Today is Miriam Makeba‘s birthday. I had no idea who she was ( shame on me) and thank you Google for teaching us so many things we don’t know ( but should). You have to go and read all about her on Wikipedia because her story is incredible; from spending the first six months of her life in jail to becoming a Grammy Award winning singer and civil rights activist. You also have to hear her, incredible voice and catchy music. She was exiled from South Africa for nearly thirty years because she actively campaigned against apartheid, but she kept singing. In fact she sang till the day she died. So many incredibly inspiring people we can learn from.

Funny People

I am grateful for funny people. And I especially love Bill Cosby.

Life of Pi

Although Boredom is Good for You….

It is shameful and I shouldn’t do it, but I can’t help it. I read Life of Pi some years back. And I had to force myself through it. I hang my head in shame. But hell it was boring. The only reason I forced myself through it was I kept hoping that somewhere along the line it would get interesting or my malfunctioning brain cells would start working and I would actually get the story. But I didn’t and at the end of the novel I felt quite cheated. Please forgive me, all you incredible critics who gave it rave reviews. I could never imagine it being turned into a movie. But watching the Oscars last night convinced me that Ang Lee and his team are capable of magic and yes I want to see the movie. No offence Yann Martel, I am just plain dumb and totally missed the entire point of the story if there was one. I like fast paced stories which have a beginning, middle and end. No hidden meanings that require the IQ of a rocket scientist to decipher. But I want to watch the movie, it deserved the Oscar for Cinematography and why is everyone trashing Seth Macfarlane? Because he sang out true well known facts? Well all those actresses should have thought about that before dumbly agreeing to do just anything on screen, good for you Jennifer Lawrence you just gained more respect. And you fall gracefully. 

 (Images from Google and the Guardian.co.uk)  

What to do on a Snow Day

I am sick today. And I sit here with a box of tissues, a bottle of hydrasense and a clove of burning garlic shoved in my aching ear. I am too sick to do anything but have random thoughts and watch boring shows on TV. Daytime television is bleh. There is more snow coming. “When the snows fall and the white winds blow…” the bus ain’t coming cause school is closed.

For Moms:

1. Make a huge amount of hot chocolate. Pour in a bottle of Benadryl. Give them as much as they like, they’ll all be out before you know it.

2. Send them outside and offer a ‘ten’ for every igloo they make. They’ll stay out of your hair the whole day. Then give them a dime for every igloo. What?

3. Send them over to Grandma’s. That is what parents are for. (Be sure to move to Florida after they get married and have their own kids.)

For Kids:

1. Make your own hot chocolate.

2. Offer to make breakfast and let Mom go back to sleep.

3. Clean the house while Mom sleeps.

4. Take care of younger brothers and sisters while Mom sleeps.

5. Make chicken sandwiches for lunch, feed everyone, then clean up the kitchen while Mom sleeps.

6. Make Mom the best cup of coffee/tea ever and serve it to her on a tray with a flower in bed.

7. If you can’t manage all the above, take all your brothers and sisters and go over to Grandma’s. Stay there.

Any more ideas for the next snow day?

(All pics courtesy of moi taken on Feb 8)

Ode to husbands

 

Oh dear husband so loyal and true,
How do you manage to make me so blue?
Could it be all those rolled up, smelly socks
That is putting this extra gray in my locks?
Why do you so kindly offer to cook?
Then be cruel and not let me read my book?
I hand you every ingredient, chop everything up,
Then have to wash every pot, plate and cup.
You have to look after the kids too you know,
It’s not like I brought them in my trousseau.
Just how they drive me nuts, you have not an inkling,
As you sit in front of the computer screen blinking.
I think it is time you cleaned up your act,
Time to grow up as a matter of fact!
Your dirty laundry lying behind the bathroom door,
I ain’t gonna pick that up no more!
While I lug the groceries you let the door slam in my face,
I think I can arrange for your neck to be in a brace.
So become a gentleman or watch your back,
Before you find yourself tied to the train tracks.

(sketch courtesy of me-because every picture I googled was copyrighted :0)