I Really Love Writing Query Letters

Query letters are so much fun. I love them. Don’t be jealous because you don’t feel the same way. Query letters just make me want to …

There are so many rules there should be an encyclopedia just to contain them. And no matter how many times you write it out, somehow it just never seems to be quite right. And every agent wants it just a little different. You have to read through entire websites and at least five googled up interviews before you even attempt to write a query to a particular agent. That is a lot of fun. Especially in the summer vacation with kids in the house.

Anyways there are some sites I found really helpful and have been meaning to post them for quite a while. But I get distracted really easily. Did you know piranhas are really mean little buggers?

Oh and that Snooti  Snooki just had a baby.

Of course then I just had to find out who she is. Ironically she has written a book and it has been published. I wonder how she managed to write the query letter. I wonder if she can spell query letter.

Sorry, got distracted. What was I talking about?

Query letters!

They really freak me out! Here are some places that were very helpful.

1.http://elanajohnson.blogspot.ca/p/writing-query-letter.html. She makes it seem so much easier. She breaks it down with lots of helpful examples.

2.http://www.nelsonagency.com/faq.html This is from the Nelson Agency Website. Very helpful.

3.http://agentqueryconnect.com/. This is a great site to learn lots and lots and lots and rant and moan and whine with other writers. And helpful. Helpful helpful.

4.http://www.americaneditingservices.com/. This is a website for an editor who was really nice and she helped me with my query a lot. I needed a lot of help. I now need a lot of vacation from summer vacation. So I can fit the lot of help I got into the rewriting of the query letter. Then I will pray I get a lot of requests. And a lot of books published. And eventually a lot of money. Then I will send a lot of my children to a lot of faraway schools so I can write a lot more without a lot of distractions. I get distracted easily. Did you know Mexican Salamanders are really weird-looking little critters?

(All Images are from Google Images)

Being Appreciated

I really appreciate Amyth Banerji at Mythbroakia for appreciating me. He nominated my blog for the Reader Appreciation award. You all know how the rules go:

1. Appreciate the blogger who nominated you. I did.

2. 7 things about yourself. Since I have done this many times, I don’t think readers will appreciate another 7 things. I plan on appreciating something else.

3. Appreciate 5 to 10 other bloggers.

So I am going to appreciate 7 things my kids have said.

1. Twin 2 (5 years) at an Aftar Party  a few days ago when using the host’s washroom:

“Toilet bowls are so big. Babies could just fall in. When I’m grownd up and have my own baby where will I make it go potty?”

2. Twin 1, just now. “When I am grownd up, I am not going to have a boy baby. He will just bug me all the time!”

3. Middle Child when she was a toddler observing an earthworm after the rain: “Mommy look eardworm hole is digging!”

4. Only son in answer to anything: “It wasn’t me!”

5. Eldest daughter in answer to anything:”It wasn’t me”

6. All at once at the dinner table: “I like dogs, can we get one?” “No! You have to pick up their poop!” “Ha ha he said poop! Stop pushing me!” “Poop, doggy poop!” “I am not picking up the doggy’s poop” “I don’t believe this! Why are we talking about poop at the dinner table?” “Ewww! Doggy poop!” “Stop it! Stop saying poop!” “Poop, poop,poop…Ow she hit me! you are a poopy face!” “MOM!!”

Me: “Pass me the poopatoes…”

7. After yelling at them to stop fighting, reminding them how lucky they are to have each other and that I was all alone as a child: Twins: “don’t be sad mommy you’re not alone anymore, now you have us.” And I am enveloped in a large odd shaped hug of five children.

I have nominated quite a few blogs the past few days so I am nominating some new blogs I have just started following that I thought were interesting:

1. Nyparrot

2. Zainab Khwaja’s Blog

3. Unspoken

Apartment Life in Karachi

When I was living in Karachi (which I just googled and found is no longer on the most dangerous cities list since we moved) we lived in a large comfortable house. But I also had the opportunity to live awhile in an apartment or ‘flat complex’. It was ….an experience.

 

Link for article in Dawn newspaper:http://archives.dawn.com/archives/69571

 

Flat out: Meet the neighbours

By Khaula Mazhar

People who prefer living in a house rather than in a flat have absolutely no sense of adventure. Where else can you find so many different types of people living in the same place, constantly getting on each other`s nerves? Where else can you find such an interesting environment? 

For starters, look at the amazing artwork that goes into the décor of even the most average, normal, everyday flat. Notice the dramatic red streaks in corners and on the lower parts of walls? You may call it disgusting, I call it artistic. Only a paan addict can truly appreciate its beauty. 

The leaky plumbing is another amazing aspect; the designs caused by the water slowly seeping out of the pipes and into the walls give the place a lot of character. And there`s so much to talk about once your tiles start falling out due to the water damage; at your next family get-together you can hold the audience spell bound as you narrate how a chunk of plaster fell on your head while you were in the loo. 

There is constant activity in the complex parking areas, and if you live on the ground floor you`ll never be far from the action; be it the Peeping Toms, who always appear at your window the second you open your curtains, or the cricket crazy delinquents who keep the window makers in business. But all this pales into insignificance once Eidul Azha draws near. The sights (animals of all shapes, sizes, personalities and all of their recycled food lying around in cute lumps), sounds (baaing, mooing, moaning, groaning, screaming, pleading, all seasoned with a few spicy swear words) and SMELLS (let`s just say `organic` shall we?) Who needs a vacation to exotic locales when so much is happening at their doorstep? 

Living in a flat also engenders a feeling of togetherness with your neighbours. They know everything about you, you know everything about them. For example, I know the timetable of the lady who lives upstairs. She starts cooking when it`s my bedtime. The second I fall asleep I am awoken by the gentle scraping sound of her `sil butta` and I can picture her grinding away at all those aromatic spices. She`s so considerate, she always brings me a plate of her Bihari kebabs, making sure I get them no matter what — even if she has to pound on my door for twenty minutes, while I try to drag myself out of bed, at a quarter past midnight. Her persistence amazes me; so does her timetable.

There`s a very caring family in the flat opposite ours. They care about what I`m doing, why I am doing it, who has come to visit me and why; what I have cooked and, since it smells so good, can I send some over? Of course, they keep me informed of all their goings-on as well. I feel like I`m part of their family. When a baby was born at one of their relatives, I felt like a proud aunt. A family feud left me indignant. I now have more things to worry about than I need and I doubt I will ever run out. Isn`t that great? They also keep me from getting lonely as someone is always dropping in. If “Bhabi” can`t come by, she`ll be sure to send over her four different sized children to keep me company, no matter how much I insist that I don`t need it. 

No flat would be complete without the `been there, done that` family. I know they are very popular, and they are a real favourite of mine. No matter what you have seen, heard, done; no matter where all you have been, you`ll find they have seen that, heard that, done that, been there, and of course, all on a much grander scale. It really boosts your spirits to be associated with such sophisticated people. 

Life in flats is never boring; there`s always something going on to keep you distracted. Either it`s an aameen or a birthday, sometimes even a mehndi in the reception area. If you don`t feel like cooking you can always attend one of these functions without the hassle of fighting traffic or driving a distance; just skip downstairs. 

So, if you are bored of your large living quarters, your privacy, your beautiful lawn, your own, undisputed parking area, your peace and quiet, don`t despair; excitement is just round the corner! Pack up and move your family to the nearest flat complex.

Cranky Old Man

Reblogged from globalunison:

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

Read more… 560 more words

I was so touched when I read this, just had to reblog. Very thoughtful of Globalunision to post, we all will be in that spot one day.

Terror in The Classroom

 

This is an article I wrote for Dawn Newspaper but had forgotten about. Dedicated to teachers.

http://archives.dawn.com/archives/69244

Humour: Terror in the classroom

By Khaula Mazhar

It`s the start of a new school year, a much awaited time for many a harangued mother. Ironically, come September, while one group of women take a breather, another group is constantly on its toes the teachers. Just like students, teachers too come in all types and they will all be gathered in the staff room at 10am, the universal tea time for all teachers. So let`s eavesdrop and hear what they go through during a typical day at work.

Ms Strict and Stern
“Students these days are really getting impossible to teach!” (She doesn`t realise it`s because her methods are so boring). All those excuses for unfinished homework. Weddings, lost exercise books, absences, misunderstandings, guests in the house… there`s no end! Just give detentions and minus points, that`s my method. It does wonders.”

Ms Whiner
“You think that`s bad! You guys should try taking class one. They can drive you nuts with their non-stop questions, and don`t even ask about their homework! Parents must think we are going to drop by their place in the evening to get the homework done ourselves.”

Ms Senior Class Teacher
“I invite you all to my grade eight boys` class after break time. It`s like nothing you`ve ever smelt in your life! It makes me wonder if they actually ever shower at all, besides they are so rowdy and worked up after their break it takes them twenty minutes to settle down to start work. By the end of the class I feel like my voice box has been damaged.”

Ms Nursery Teacher
“By the end of my class, I feel like most of my body has been damaged. Sitting on those little chairs and getting down on my knees to listen to my tiny little munchkins. By the end of the week I feel like a rheumatic hag, and all those little munchkins seem more like a bunch of gremlins.”

Ms Sour Puss
“What a horrible thing to say! Why, nursery children are such little angels!

Ms Nursery Teacher
“Excuse me! I am human, you know! Do you realise how hard it is to get little kids to do things? They can`t even make a straight line! You have to spoonfeed them everything.”

Ms Other Nursery Teacher
“Heck! You have to spoonfeed some of their parents as well! Important notes and circulars come back in their bags unread, it`s like parents expect you to tell them to check their kids` bags everyday! Then you have to write extra reminders for them separately or make phone calls, and then they actually have the nerve to tell you they never received any kind of notice! Why don`t you check your kids` bags?”

Just then a young frenzied teacher bursts into the staff room and collapses into a chair. Her hair looks like she`s been trying to pull it out. Everyone is dead silent.

Ms `I Am Definitely Going Nuts`

“I can`t take it anymore! I just can`t take it! It`s a madhouse I tell you, a madhouse!”(This is the pre-nursery teacher, whose students have just come to school for the first time)

“They are so small, and they are everywhere at once! I can`t pick up the crayons off the floor fast enough before they are into the blocks, then all of a sudden there are blocks all over the place! I wipe one nose and turn around to find six more runny noses! As soon as I tie a pair of shoelaces, five have tripped on untied laces and are whining like crazy. One girl keeps running out of the class and the guard keeps bringing her back from the gate. By the time I send one little girl to the washroom, three more have peed on the mat!” Here she pauses for a breath but before anyone can get a word in, she starts off again.

“Snack boxes! I hate those things! Why do parents buy lunch boxes that need a rocket scientist to figure them out? And everyone wants their lunch box opened at the same time. And the smell! Oh the putrid smell of a hurried breakfast of milk and eggs that has been regurgitated by a screaming, howling, coughing, vomitty child! And then, when they finally come to collect their brats, each parent wants every little detail of their darling`s day. I am going to go nuts!”

She then breaks into heart wrenching sobs while everyone quietly edges out of the room — they all have their own troubles waiting for them in their respective class rooms; taking care of a hysterical teacher is not on their day`s schedule.